Saiyuki Bacholorette Game
by Stopthepress28
Summary: Its the bacholorette! One lucky guy will be able to take home the girl of his dreams by competing in various tasks! But who will go home? And who will stay?
1. Chapter 1

The Saiyuki Bachelor-et Game

Ellie Magee

"Man this really sucks..."

A brown haired boy said bordly. He was sitting in a jeep with three other men and there was a large group of Youki;s coming towards them.

"We'll get you Sanzo and company..."

The badly dressed Youki's were tired of saying 'sanzo party' and it was apparent they were using their 'thinking caps' recently.

"Goku, I'll leave these guys to you, I don't have the energy to waste my time with useless weaklings".

The cold voice that belonged to sanzo muttered. Just them a cold blooded scream broke the dullness of the evening.

"Oh Help! Please someone Help me!"

The voice belonged to a girl about 18 at least, she was short, round and very unattractive with mousy brown hair and a large ugly face.

"Goyjo your the one that likes saving hot girls."

Goku said bordly.

" I don't think thats the case..."

Goyjo said giving the ugly girl a look over.

"But Goyjo! You said the fatter 'ey were the bigger the"-

Hakkai put his hand over Goku's mouth just in time.

"We don't need to know what vulgar thing Goyjo said this time Goku"

Hakkai said with patience. Goyjo lit a cigarette and giggled.

"Damn..."

Goyjo said softly.

"Guess someone should save the ugly chick"

Goyjo said with a trace of laughter in his voice. All of the sanzo party went over and killed the evil Youki with a great amount of skill. The girl jumped up and down making the ground shake.

"You did it!! You saved me"

The girl yelled.

"Yeah Yeah... keep your shirt on... seriously keep it on"

Goyjo tossed his hair out of his eyes.

"Who's the old one o'er there?"

Goku asked with interest. The man walked over smiling then he spoke,

"Oh you saved her! You saved my daughter Ayaka! You will wed her! One of you lucky boys will be my son in law!"

Goyjo's cigarette fell from his mouth.

"And you know what will happen after we wed... the good part!"

Ayaka giggled, but since she had such a large neck it came out as more of a growl. Sanzo coughed, Hakkai smiled Goyjo laughed.

"What good part?"

Goku asked obviously confused.

"Nothing Goku..."

Sanzo said as Goyjo ruffled his hair.

"So which lucky man will it be?"

The old man said ignoring their laughter , Ayaka rubbed her hands together and when they could see that the old man wasn't joking they answered trying to suppress their laughter.

"Ya see... Your daughters hot and all... but I have a sweetheart back at home waiting for me."

Goyjo said convincingly.

"My religion forbids marriage"

Hakkai said seriously.

"I'm too young..."

Goku said innocently. Sanzo stood there not realizing it was his turn until Ayaka put her hands on her hips impatiently.

"Oh... I'm... I'm a homosexual, I don't date women."

Sanzo then had a weird expression on his face. The others nodded.

"Its true ya know, he's Gay as a little Gay school boy."

Goyjo said smiling. Ayaka ran out of the room crying.

"Now look what you did!"

The old man ran after his daughter leaving the four men alone, they started laughing like crazy. Sanzo hit Goyjo and threatened to kill him with his gun.

"I wouldn't date that ugly little thing if you paid me!"

Goyjo laughed.

"Though she liked me the best..."

Goyjo smiled.

"Nah.. When she found out I was a homo, she almost cried!"

Sanzo said lighting a cigarette.

"I believe she would prefer a gentlemen like me."

Said Hakkai. They argued for awhile until the old man came back in.

"We believe that you have a lovely daughter, and we would all like to date her... which one of us would you say would be more... eh fitting?"

Hakkai said eyes fixed on the old man. The old mans eyes lit up as he whispered.

"I will leave the choosing to Ayaka."

Then he left.

"It's a competition!"

Goku said happily.

"Looks like we'll be playing bachelor then..."

Goyjo said smiling.

"I better go in there and impress her"

Hakkai said leaving.

"Wait..."

Sanzo said

"I should probably go convince her that I've changed my sexuality."

Sanzo said as he left


	2. Task Number One

Saiyuki Bachelorette Game

Chapter two: Task number one

Ellie Magee

5:28 Am

The Castle

"Man, these freaks have gone waaaay too far!"

Goyjo said looking around the nicely furnished castle that they were staying at.

"I see what you mean... I mean it was understandable that she was testing us to see who is more suitable... but when she stuck us in a castle with cameramen everywhere it's just a little much."

Hakkai said in distress. The four boys were in a parlor with white couches and chairs with a grand piano in the corner. The matching white rug which Sanzo pointed out was 'worth more than Goku' was already stained with red wine, (Goyjo's doing).

"And these clothes!"

Goku pointed out referring to the black suits and pink ties that they all (reluctantly) put on. But before Goku could finish his thoughts four too familiar faces barged in. They belonged to YaonneKougaiji, Lirin, and Dokugakuji. The Sanzo and company's mouths hung wide open. When they got over there shock Goyjo spoke.

"Why the hell are the too chicks here, unless Ayaka is..."

Yaonne blushed violently and shouted a little too loudly.

"NO!... I mean... I hope not!"

Hakkai smiled and asked with a great deal of curiosity

"How did they catch you, unless you, like us did this voluntarily."

Dokugakuji looked at Hakkai and then spoke,

"No, we were just wandering around when we saw that... "

He made a face, he was obviously at a loss for words.

"Girl?"

Hakkai offered. Dokugakuji swallowed

"Yeah... And she kept screaming about 'new contestants' and made us follow her."

Hakkai rubbed his chin.

"I see"

He said nodding. Kougaiji looked at Hakkai strangely then said

"You _offered_ to do this?"

Goyjo covered his face to compose his laughter and Goku spoke for him.

" 'fraid so..."

The Kougaiji and company looked at them unbelievably but didn't ask anything more. Lirin laughed and said.

"You Guys are so stupid!"

She said this loudly and obnoxiously (the Lirin way) But before Goyjo could roll his eyes, or before Kougaiji told Lirin how rude this was, two brightly colored girls came rushing in. They had clothes in their hands and big smiles on their faces.

"Ooh the redheads MINE"

The first one said.

"Okay I get the other hottie!"

The other one giggled. In an instant they began tearing, ripping and pulling the clothes of off Kougaiji and Dokugakuji, and giggling like mad! Kougaiji (when he realized what they were doing) started to protest but gave in when they started saying 'Awwwwww' or 'you big meany!' Dokugakuji however did whatever he could to get away from them, but the will of the fan girls were too much for him and eventually Kougaiji and him were both wearing matching suits and ties. Yaonne who said she had looked away while it was happening, (a lie of course) asked politely if her and Lirin could leave. When the fan girls said they could Kougaiji looked worried.

"Well Maybe I better stay..."

Yaonne said worriedly. But the fan girls would not hear of it and pushed both her and Lirin out of the door. The fan girls left giggling leaving the six good looking men alone. The sun was just rising making the parlor seem a pinkish color. Sanzo took out a cigarette and muttered.

"What the hell now?"

As if Ayaka and her father had heard him, they both came into the room, Ayaka wearing a white dress that resembled a marshmallow, and her father in a suit.

"Line up boys"

Ayaka ordered.

"I am so not your toy and I am so not standing up"

Goyjo said lazily. The others nodded their heads, this was one thing that they all agreed with. Ayaka frowned.

"Okay if you could just listen to me I would really love it..."

She started, then she started crying

"I have just had a really bad day, and I'm under a lot of pressure right now..."

Goyjo rolled his eyes

"What a sob story.."

He said.

"And to make matters worse I haven't eaten breakfast yet and I'm hungry."

She finished, licking her large pink lips. Suddenly all six men stood up instantly.

"Line up"

She ordered again. They did as they were told Ayaka walked over to Kougaiji.

"Mhm Mmmm Mmmm, WHATS YOUR NAME LITTLE BOY?"

She asked coming closer to him. Kougaiji turned pale and whispered

"Kougaiji..."

But Ayaka couldn't hear him. She stomped her foot making Kougaiji back away.

"I ASKED YOUR NAME!"

She yelled. Kougaiji did nothing except shudder and mutter 'oh my god' to himself repetitively. Finally her father stepped up and said

"I'll take it from here pumpkin"

She nodded.

"Well boys I am here to talk to you about your first task, It is not an easy one I tell you. So pay close attention. You all will be given one day to search for a flower as beautiful as my Ayaka, and after you have found it you must compose a poem about her. Tomorrow afternoon you will present the flower to her and read the poem aloud. Ayaka will choose which one of you will be-"

(Suspenseful music in background)

"Eliminated"

He finished.

"Go now in search of the flower, I will see you back here at 12:00 tomorrow."

Ayaka touched Goyjo on the face with her stubby finger then left with her father. Goyjo looked at Sanzo.

"You ready to totally be out shined by my superior romance? Priest?"

He said with a smirk. Sanzo smiled back.

"Yeah, Yeah, right..."

Dokugakuji sighed.

"Well I'm not an idiot... I'm not sticking around here to be eaten, lets go Kou... Kou?!"

Dokugakuji looked around.

"Oh... Kougaiji already left, he was running pretty fast though!"

Goku said, as he watched Dokugakuji nod and walk away. And so the game had started. And two contestants lost. Tsk Tsk Tsk... Who will be the...

(Suspenseful music)

BACHELORETTE?

A word From the writer

Hi! Sorry I forgot to write last chapter, totally slipped my mind... I really hope ya'll read and review and like it and blah blah blah. I do feel particularity good about dis one though. Ha, have any questions or something please PM me, or leave it in the review. Stay tuned for next chapter!

Love always

Ellie


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